When I was born, I was a peaceful and contented baby.
However, after my first birthday, I became the opposite. I would cry at the
slightest whim and whimper when the lights were switched off. I was afraid
of the dark, sudden loud noises, and unexplained rattles and shakes. I
wanted brightness and was afraid of the shadows.
My parents tried to cope with my unreasonable demands, such as having lights
on in every room, but it was a challenge. I was scared to be alone and
needed a familiar face around me. Even the teasing and boos from my
classmates did not shame me, as I was just plain scared.
When I was seven, I was enrolled in a co-ed school, and my parents had to
drag me, bound hand and leg, to school. I was sandwiched between a
dark-skinned Indian girl and a fair-skinned yellow-haired English girl,
which only added to my fears. One incident that stands out was when a
classmate snuck a black spider down my collar. I was paralyzed with fear,
and my screams attracted the attention of the young inexperienced teacher
who was also scared. Luckily, the headmaster intervened and returned the
situation to normalcy.
As I grew older, wiser, and more logical, I began to relegate these wild
imaginations to the recesses of my mind. Although I still occasionally have
unconscious panic attacks, I consider them the pains and joys of growing up.
I hope that as I mature into a gracious adult from this insecure teenager, I
will be able to look at my own shadow and play hopscotch with it.
In conclusion, I had unreasonable fears that included being afraid of the
dark, sudden loud noises, and my own shadow. It was a challenging time for
my parents, and even my classmates teased me, but I eventually grew out of
it. Although I still have the occasional panic attack, I view it as a
natural part of growing up. |