A popular saying goes, "Marriage involves three rings: the
engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering."
If it is commonly felt that marriage is so difficult, why do most people wish to
get married? Probably, the instinct to find a mate is inherent in human beings;
and I am no exception. Somehow, I believe that there is someone out there who
was made specially for me, and, once I find him, we will fall in love, and get
married; and only then will I feel complete. So, how will I recognise my Mr
Right? What qualities should I be looking for?
First of all, I am not looking for "Mr Tall, Dark and Handsome". Character is
more important than looks. I cannot deny that I am attracted to good-looking
boys, but marrying solely for physical attraction will probably lead to short
term pleasure but life-long regret. I have also noticed that handsome boys are
often vain and arrogant, which I find most unattractive. One of the main things
that I admire in a man is humility. Such a man will not boast about his wealth,
intelligence or achievements, but, instead appreciate other people's abilities
and achievements. He will also readily admit when he has made a mistake. Such a
man would be a joy to live with.
Good communication is the key to any solid relationship, most of all, marriage.
I would want my future husband to share his thoughts with me. I want to hear his
dreams and to share in his struggles. On the other hand, I will also need
someone who will be ready to listen to me, and interested to know what is
happening in my life. There should be no secrets between us.
Life is full of challenges. We can expect to face failure as well as success;
heartache as well as joy; boredom as well as excitement. So, the perfect husband should have a positive
attitude and a good sense of humour. He should be witty and say things which
make me laugh. The perfect husband would also be one who can see the silver
lining behind every cloud, rather than focus on the flaws in every situation.
With such a man, I will be encouraged to look at life in a happier and more
Above all other qualities, the perfect husband will be faithful. He must be
someone who really believes in that marriage is made to last "till death do us
part". He will be totally committed to our relationship, and willing to stay for
the long haul, "in sickness and in health, for better or for worse"; as couples
promise in the wedding vows. The perfect husband would not be distracted by
other women; not even when I have lost my looks. He would be a "one woman man".
In return, I will also promise my total loyalty and faithfulness to my future
Actually, there are many other qualities that make a man perfect husband
material. For example, one obvious quality would be the ability to provide; and,
though it is not the most important quality, physical attraction must be a part
of the equation for a marriage to work well. However, while it is easy to make
lists, finding a man to live up to them will be very difficult. Furthermore,
instead of focusing on my requirements for the perfect husband, I think I should
recognise my own imperfections, and set about correcting them. As Barnett
Brickner said, "Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the
right mate, but through being the right mate."