I was having a hard time reconciling what to call myself what to
focus on. It was really a confusing time in my life. And it was
really frustrating because I had a lot of drive. And I wanted to
help people. And I wanted to make a difference but I didn't and I
couldn't figure out how I fit into society.
So this idea of dance just didn't leave me alone and I remember just
saying to myself like if I don't actually go and take a class like
how am I gonna know and so I went and I took my first ever
professional dance class at Broadway Dance Center. And as the music
came on and I started crying because it felt so right and I am like
why have I tortured myself for like three years going like - could I
dance - should I dance that I tried to dance.
I mean I tortured myself for years about that and was miserable. And
so this idea clarity comes from engagement not thought you know if
you're not sure if you should stay in a relationship. It's like give
that relationship everything. You can go get some couples - talk to
somebody say I want to work on this. If it's a career that you might
want to investigate you might want to move on like go take a class
intern - get yourself embedded in that field - somehow to test it -
because your body has a truth. It has a natural knowing that you can
never access through your mind alone.
You got a
visceral answer and now you can
stop torturing yourself and you can go in that other direction or
the other thing that you want to do and feel more confidence - and
go for it - I mean it works like magic every single time and some of
the best things that you can do is actually get that know like if
you think something is so great and so magical you actually take a
step towards it and you get that body knowing or some kind of
feedback like - Oh this is disgusting - I don't want to do this as a
business this is a hobby like this should just stay fun. There's so
many different ways but to get that answer you don't have a journal
about it you don't have to meditate on it for four weeks like you'll
know real fast.
** (literary)
resulting from strong feelings rather than careful thought **
