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No man is an island. Everyone depends on his friends to a certain
extent. Ever since man formed a system of verbal communication, all
people have been in constant chatter with one another. Relationships
are important to man, so much that people may shape their entire
lifestyles simply to find favor with their clique or circle of friends.
Therefore, much caution must be applied when dealing with our
friends, especially in our speech. So then, must we always tell our
friends the whole truth and nothing but the truth or is it sometimes
simply none of their business?
One thing is clear: finding out that your friend has lied to you
always hurts. In cases where lies have been told to hurt you or other
parties on purpose, the friendship will never be the same. If the lie caused you great damage, the friendship will not be salvageable. Who
would want a treacherous person for a friend? Yet, even when the
matter is not of great importance, little lies can lead to the spoiling of
relationships. I have a friend who often tells little untruths. Sometimes,
he exaggerates circumstances a little, just to impress others,
sometimes he tells half-truths to get out of trouble, sometimes, he
makes up stories just to entertain his friends. Personally, I just do not
feel comfortable with him. You see, I just never know whether he is
telling the truth or one more of his little lies.
Apart from the question of maintaining credibility, sharing one's
problems and joys with a friend can also be helpful as we deal with the
problems of daily living. As the saying goes, shared joy is double the joy
and shared sorrow is half the sorrow. Sharing the good times can
brighten up a friend's day if he feels down. Sharing one's problems and
despairs with a friend will bring forth the encouragement and advice we
need to hear. Sometimes simply having an ear to hear our heart's cries
and knowing that someone understands us will make us feel better.
People have been saved from suicide just by having a friend to listen to
their troubles.
It is clear, then, that some things need to be said to our friends
without any twisting of the truth. However, there are times when telling
a friend too much can also lead to problems. An all-too-common
example of such a time is when one hears rumors. Gossip can start
simply because someone thought a rumor was true and shared all her
thoughts on the rumor with a friend. The friend, who actually had no
real knowledge of the matter, passed all her thoughts and ideas to
another friend and so on and so forth. The final result can be a mangled
product which could really hurt the parties involved. The thing to do
about rumors is not to spread them, even if you have strong opinions,
about them.
Another noteworthy fact is that sometimes, telling the truth may be
worse than saying nothing. If an ugly girl with an inferiority complex
were to ask you if she was unattractive, it would be a very bad idea to
tell her just how unattractive she was. One must use his discretion in
such situations, stressing on her good qualities, of course. Telling the
whole truth in this case would destroy her remaining shreds of
confidence.
In conclusion, I feel that friends, even the closest of friends, need
not tell each other everything they know or feel. Some matters, of
course, should be discussed with friends, while some others should be
hidden. We have to balance our love for truth with the practicalities of
the situation. Not being perfect, we are bound to make mistakes, of
course. So, one must then be prepared to make up with our friends, apologizing for our verbal blunders and forgiving them for theirs. Well,
that's what friendship is really about -- accepting people for what they
are, imperfections and all.
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