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We are often gratified whenever we see a display of
courtesy. It may be the giving up of one's seat, giving
way to another or a simple polite greeting. Such manners
strike a chord of harmony in our soul. It leaves a
feeling that the world is a better place for each one of
us. Generally, we are quick to recognise courtesy and
also to respond to it like the old proverb that says
'All doors open to courtesy.'
It is said that real culture has a tendency to avoid
excessive individuality. Instead, it requires that every
person should be treated with equal courtesy whether
they are strangers in the street or friends in the
living room. A person's ability t., accord respect to a
fellow human provides him a certain charm. It is this
appeal of courtesy that has made
etiquette so important a factor in civilisations.
Thus, we are taught the proper way to behave in
different situations and settings.
It is usually the quiet, well-mannered person who
inspires respect and liking. We credit this person with
gentility and refinement and we form a good impression
of his family because it is a mark of good breeding.
Noisy and boisterous conduct has a tendency to irritate
and put people off. 'The loud laugh bespeaks a vacant
mind'.
However, etiquette, in its truest sense, goes beyond
a set of rules or manners that a person displays in the
public's eyes. It is a reflection of oneself rather than
the exhibition of a code of behaviour. We do what is
right and courteous naturally because we are well-bred
and it is a part of us.
A well-bred person does and
says what is correct instinctively, with no
thought of impressing others. He is brought up to
respect and treat others equally at all times. The place
or occasion is irrelevant. His manners are as polished
and cultivated in his home, at business, and in public
as they are at the most formal occasions. It is no use
being able to display civilities in front of others and
then take our love ones at home for granted. Such a
person does not possess true courtesy. 'Courtesy begins
at home'. The home is the place where true courtesy
begins and is cultivated. One must learn to make
courtesy a part of ourselves and not just a superficial
outer layer.
Often, we are very conscious of our behaviour when we
know that others are watching. Most of us are able to
put on a display of courtesy when others are watching.
It is only natural that we want others to have a good
impression of us. However,
appearance is not always reality. It is common to
hear of stories where people are shocked to discover
about someone whom they thought to be good but turns out
to be otherwise in their private lives. These
revelations happen often when the home breaks up, as in
divorce cases.
Nowadays, the younger people sometimes offend others
with their informal or inappropriate dressing. One
should be properly attired when paying a visit to a
friend's home. Even common polite greetings are heard
less often. In faxes and e-mails, proper terms of
addresses are also left out more often than not.
However, in an environment where courtesy is displayed,
it forces people to behave better and kinder than they
would, with courtesy abandoned. Where there is a dress
code or proper terms of address, people are compelled to
conform and be more civil. |
