|
The child who is too aggressive is usually revealing tow difficulties.
Firstly, far from being too confident, he is actually not confident enough
of himself. Secondly, he has not learnt, or is afraid to trust, the
acceptable ways of getting what he wants and defending his rights. Why the
child lacks confidence may not be apparent. In a young child, a lack of
confidence can be readily understood. He has not yet had enough experience
to know what he can do. An older child may be bullying and aggressive
because he is too strictly held down at home, or equally because he is too
laxly handled and has not been helped to self-control. Too much and too
little parental authority often have similar troubling effects on children
of different temperaments.
The same may be said of the second difficulty the child reveals by his
aggressive behavior. A young child does not yet know that here are better
ways than fighting. An older child may not have been given much guidance, or
through circumstances he may not have had much experience in getting along
with other children. When parents or other adults have not been on hand to
teach and show children by their example, or have been too protective of
their children in the pre-school years, it may take both time and experience
for the children to learn to get along with others, once they are in school
and on their own.
The child who is too aggressive needs his confidence build up in good and
wholesome ways. His boldness, his energy, his desire to lead and manage
others can be directed into useful channels. At home and in school, the
aggressive child can be given more responsibility and more praise for his
real achievements. |
