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Snapshots of a Wedding 2
She was a very pretty girl with black eyes like stars; she was
always smiling and happy; immediately and always her own
natural self. He knew what he was marrying -- something
quite the opposite, a new kind of girl with false postures and
acquired, grand-madame ways. And yet, it didn't pay a man
these days to look too closely into his heart. They all wanted as
wives, women who were big money-earners and they were so
ruthless about it! And yet it was as though the society itself
stamped each of its individuals with its own particular brand
of wealth and Kegoletile had not yet escaped it; he had about
him an engaging humility and eagerness to help and please
that made him loved and respected by all who knew him.
During those times he sat in Mathata's yard, he communicated
nothing of the conflict he felt but he would sit on a chair with
his arms spread out across its back, turn his head sideways and
stare at what seemed to be an empty space beside him. Then
he would smile, stand up and walk away. Nothing dramatic.
During the year he prepared the huts in his new yard, he
frequently slept at the home of Neo.
Relatives on both sides watched this division of interest
between the two yards and one day when Neo walked patronisingly into the yard of an aunt, the aunt decided to frighten her
a little.
'Well aunt,' she said, with the familiar careless disrespect
which went with her so-called, educated, status. 'Will you
make me some tea? And how's things?'
The aunt spoke very quietly.
'You may not know it, my girl, but you are hated by
everyone around here. The debate we have going is whether a
nice young man like Kegoletile should marry bad-mannered
rubbish like you. He would be far better off if he married a girl
like Mathata, who though uneducated, still treats people with
respect.'
The shock the silly girl received made her stare for a terrified
moment at her aunt. Then she stood up and ran out of the
house. It wiped the superior smile off her face and brought her
down a little. She developed an anxiety to greet people and
also an anxiety about securing Kegoletile as a husband -- that
was why she became pregnant six months before the marriage
could take place. In spite of this, her own relatives still disliked
her and right up to the day of the wedding they were still
debating whether Neo was a suitable wife for any man. No one
would have guessed it though with all the dancing, ululating
and happiness expressed in the yard and streams of guests
gaily ululated themselves along the pathways with wedding
gifts precariously balanced on their heads. Neo's maternal
aunts, all sedately decked up in shawls, sat in a select group by
themselves in a corner of the yard. They sat on the bare ground
with their legs stretched out before them but they were served
like queens the whole day long. Trays of tea, dry white bread,
plates of meat, rice, and salad were constantly placed before
them. Their important task was to formally hand over the
bride to Kegoletile's maternal aunts when they approached
the yard at sunset. So they sat the whole day with still,
expressionless faces, waiting to fulfil this ancient rite.
Equally still and expressionless. were the faces of the long
column of women, Kegoletile's maternal aunts, who appeared
outside the yard just as the sun sank low. They walked slowly
into the yard indifferent to the ululating that greeted them and
seated themselves in a group opposite Neo's maternal aunts.
The yard became very silent while each group made its report.
Kegoletile had provided all the food for the wedding feast and
a maternal aunt from his side first asked:
'Is there any complaint? Has all gone well?'
'We have no complaint,' the opposite party replied.
'We have come to ask for water,' Kegoletile's side said,
meaning that from times past the bride was supposed to carry
water in her in-law's home.
'It is agreed to,' the opposite party replied.
Neo's maternal aunts then turned to the bridegroom and
counseled him: 'Son, you must plough and supply us with corn
each year.'
Then Kegoletile's maternal aunts turned to the bride and
counseled her: 'Daughter, you must carry water for your
husband. Beware, that at all times, he is the owner of the
house and must be obeyed. Do not mind if he stops now and
then and talks to other ladies. Let him feel free to come
and go as he likes ...'
The formalities over, it was now time for Kegoletile's
maternal aunts to get up, ululate and weave and dance about
the yard. Then, still dancing and ululating, accompanied by
the bride and groom they slowly wound their way to the yard
of Kegoletile where another feast had been prepared. As they
approached his yard, an old woman suddenly dashed out and
chopped at the ground with a hoe. It was all only a
formality. Neo would never be the kind of wife who went to
the lands to plough. She already had a well-paid job in an
office as a secretary. Following on this another old woman
took the bride by the hand and led her to a smeared and
decorated courtyard wherein had been placed a traditional
animal-skin Tswana mat. She was made to sit on the mat and a
shawl and kerchief were placed before her. The shawl was
ceremonially wrapped around her shoulders; the kerchief tied
around her head -- the symbols that she was now a married
woman.
Guests quietly moved forward to greet the bride. Then two
girls started to ululate and dance in front of the bride. As
they both turned and bent over to shake their buttocks in
the air, they bumped into each other and toppled over. The
wedding guests roared with laughter. Neo, who had all this
time been stiff, immobile, and rigid, bent forward and her
shoulders shook with laughter.
The hoe, the mat, the shawl, the kerchief, the beautiful
flute-like ululating of the women seemed in itself a
blessing on the marriage but all the guests were deeply
moved when out of the crowd, a woman of majestic, regal
bearing slowly approached the bride. It was the aunt who had
scolded Neo for her bad manners and modern ways. She dropped
to her knees before the bride, clenched her fists together
and pounded the ground hard with each clenched fist on
either side of the bride's legs. As she pounded her fists
she said loudly:
'Be a good wife! Be a good wife!'
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