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Bride 1 : I'd like to take
a moment to give a
special thank-you to a girl...who's really gone above
and beyond:
Bride 2 : The girl who not only hosted my shower and
helped me design the invitation-
Bride 1 : She went with me to the caterer, the florist, the wedding cake bakery-
Bride 2 : And to eight bridal
stores...where she helped me cling to my self-esteem-
Bride 1 : As I tried on dress after dress.
Bride 2 : So thanks, Jane!
Bride 1 : Thanks, Jane. Okay! Everybody ready?
Man : Is she all right? Is she all right?
Kevin : Whoa, whoa, whoa. Easy. Just take
it easy. You don't wanna move around too much. Okay. This is a
serious injury. I need you to give me some ice. You, give me a bottle of 100-proof
liquor...and something she can bite on- stat! All right. She's
fine, folks. Just a little bump on the head. Carry on.
Jane : You a doctor?
Kevin : No, but Tweedledee and "Tweedledrunk" were bugging me, so-- Okay. Do you
know your name?
Jane : Jane.
Kevin : Jane. I'm Kevin.
Jane : Hmm. Thank you for helping me.
Kevin : Sure. Got it? Okay. You're good?
Jane : I'm fine.
Kevin : All right. Whoa, whoa. Okay. Why don't we get you a cab? All right. Nice
and easy. Let's walk.
[Jazz Standard] That I'm irresponsibly mad for you.
Kevin : I loved your thong, by the way. You buzzed past me earlier. I saw you
changing gowns. You were in two weddings in one night, weren't you? That's a
little upsetting, don't you think?
Jane : They're both good friends of mine, and their weddings happened to be on
the same night, so what was I supposed to do?
Kevin : Oh, no. That's not the upsetting part. How do you stand it? I mean, isn't
one wedding bad enough?
Jane : I love weddings. I always have.
Kevin : Really?
Jane : Yeah:
Kevin : Which part, the forced merriment,
horrible music or bad food?
Jane : Actually, it's meeting upbeat people like yourself.
Kevin : Love is patient. Love is kind. Love means slowly losing
your mind.
Jane : What do you do again?
Kevin : I'm a writer.
Jane : Right. This is my building:
Kevin : I got it:
Jane : No. I got it.
Kevin : Sure? J
Jane : Yeah. All right, sweetie. A hundred and forty. You know what you did. Hey!
What's- No. He's gonna be right back. Hold on.
Kevin : Don't you think it's a whole lot of ritual for something that…Let's face
it- It's got about a50-50
shot of making it out
of the gate.
Jane : How very refreshing. A man who doesn't believe in marriage.
Kevin : I'm just trying to point out the hypocrisy of the spectacle.
Jane : That's so noble of you. Do you also go around...telling small children
that Santa Claus doesn't exist?' Cause someone needs to blow that shit wide
open.
Kevin : So you admit that believing in marriage is kind of like believing in
Santa Claus.
Jane : No. I, I don't know why I'm arguing this with a perfect stranger. But,
yes, marriage, like everything good and important, isn't easy. Cynicism,
on the other hand, always is. It was very interesting meeting you.
Kevin : Bye.
Jane : Yeah.
Kevin : You gonna be in more weddings next weekend?
Jane : I have to go.
Kevin : How many have you been in, by the way? Just, like, ballpark.
Jane : Good night.
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