|
Juno : I'm
not really sure how I'm gonna
spit this out.
Brenda : Hon,
did you get expelled?
Juno : No.
The school would most likely contact you
in the event of
my expulsion.
Brenda :
Well, I was just asking.
It seemed plausible.
Mac : Do you
need a large amount of money? Legal counsel?
Juno : Not
that, I’m not asking for anything. Except for maybe
mercy. Like, it would be
friggin' sweet
if no one hit me.
Mac : What
have you done, Junebug? Did you hit someone with the
Previa?
Juno : No.
Leah : Dude,
I think it's best to just tell them.
Juno : I'm
pregnant.
Brenda : Oh,
God.
Juno : But
I’m going to give it up for adoption. I already
found the perfect couple. They're gonna pay for the
medical expenses and everything. In what
thirty-odd weeks
we can just pretend that this never happened.
Mac : You're
pregnant?
Juno : I'm
sorry. I’m sorry. And if it is any consolation, I
have heartburn that’s radiating my kneecaps and I
haven’t take a dump
since Wednesday. Morning!
Brenda : I
didn’t even know you were sexually active!
Mac : Who is
the kid?
Juno : The
baby? I don’t really know much about it. It has
fingernails, allegedly.
Brenda :
Nails? Really?
Juno : Yeah.
Mac : No. I
mean, who is the father, Juno?
Juno : It's,
it’s Paulie Bleeker.
Mac : Paulie
Bleeker?
Juno : What?
Mac : I
didn’t think he had it in him!
Brenda : I
know, right?
Mac : Right,
this is no laughing matter.
Juno : No,
it's not. And you know, Paulie is actually great in…
Mac : OK.
Juno : In
chair.
Mac : You
were thinking about adoption?
Juno : Yeah,
there’s this couple. They’ve, you know, they’ve been
trying to have a kid for five years.
Leah : We
found them in the Penny Saver next to the exotic
birds.
Juno : They
have a legitimate lawyer and I was going to go meet
with them next weekend.
Brenda :
Junebug, that is a tough, tough thing to do. It’s
probably tougher than you can understand right now.
Juno : I, I
know... It's just that I’m not ready to be a mom.
Mac :
Damn skippy,
you’re not! You don’t even remember to give Liberty
Bell her breathing meds.
Juno : That
was once! And she did not die, if you recall!
Brenda :
Honey, had you considered, you know, the
alternative?
Juno : No.
Brenda :
Well, you’re a little Viking!
First things first,
all right, we have to get you healthy. You need
prenatal vitamins, incidentally, they do incredible
things for your nails, so that’s a plus. Oh, and we
need to schedule a doctor’s appointment. Figure out
where you’re going to deliver.
Mac : Juno,
I'm coming with you to meet this adoption couple.
You’re just a kid. I don’t want you to get ripped
off by a couple of baby-starved wingnuts.
Juno :
Thanks, Dad.
Mac : I
thought you were the kind of girl who knew when to
say when. |
