|
Carrie : Miranda suddenly realized she was dating
"Catholic Guy." So you think the water serves as a
retro baptism kind of thing? Miranda : Beats me. If
I'd known he was Catholic, I never would've gone out
with him in the first place. They should make them
wear a sign.
Carrie : Single people in New York rarely ask
about their dates' religious backgrounds for the
same reason they don't ask the number of former sex
partners: too scary.
Miranda : I mean, he's a rational, logical guy in
every respect but this.
Carrie : Clean. You forgot clean. He's a clean
guy.
Miranda : Leave it to me to find the only
religious guy left in Manhattan.
Carrie : New York is a city filled with places to
worship. But it recently
dawned
on me the only time I ever heard
anyone mention going into one was for a singles
mixer. Are relationships the religion of the '90s?
Having been raised in the church of "be nice to
people and don't talk with your mouth full", I
decided to check out some more traditional religious
types in their natural habitat. As I watched people
leaving church, I was amazed at how they looked.
Valentino, Escada, Oscar de la Renta. What is it
about God and fashion that go so well together? And
suddenly, there he was wearing Armani on Sunday. Mr.
Big. I admit it was kind of a shock. Up until that
moment, I thought he only believed in the Yankees.
Hello there, churchgoer.
Big : Hi. What are you doing here?
Carrie : Research. I'm doing a column on closet
Presbyterians. You know any?
Big : Actually, I'm an atheist, but don't tell the
minister.
Carrie : Who's the mystery woman?
Big : My mother. I take her to church every
Sunday.
Carrie : Really? I'm so loving that. How come you
never told me?
Big : Well, you write every Sunday, so--
Carrie : So every Sunday-- church.
Big : Right. You know I've got 20 minutes before
my racquetball game. Why don't we have a cup of
coffee?
Carrie : I can't. I'm on deadline and this
cappuccino just kicked
in, so--
Big : So?
Carrie : Bye. God bless. It was one of those
awkward relationship moments where you feel like you
know nothing about the person you thought you knew
everything about.
Miranda : He goes to church with his mother? That
can't be good.
Charlotte : Don't listen to her. A man who cares
about mother makes a wonderful husband.
Carrie : I think it's sweet.
Miranda : Sure. All religions are sweet until you
get to that shower-after-sex phase.
Charlotte : Oh my God, is he still doing that?
Miranda : Please. It's amazing he has any skin
left.
Carrie : Have you tried taking a shower with him?
Miranda : No. I'm afraid he'll pull out garlic and
a cross.
Charlotte : So, which church does his mother go
to?
Carrie : Park Avenue Presbyterian.
Charlotte : Good church. It's one of the best on
the East Side.
Carrie : What, are you rating churches? Is there a
Zagat guide for that?
Miranda : Four stars, great bread, disappointing
wine selection.
Carrie : The thing is, I'm dying to meet his
mother. Can you imagine?
Charlotte :
Getting
on the good side of his mother is
like closing the deal |
