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Carrie : I saw the Met is opening a new Goya exhibit.
Do you want to go this Saturday? Big : Sure. Could
you get me some more duck sauce, please?
Carrie : I most certainly can. Oh, and we have to
stop and see the Renoirs. I love the Renoirs.
Big : OK.
Carrie : There's a moment in every relationship
where romance gives way
to reality.
Big : You know-- You know what? I'm exhausted. You
mind if we just call it a night? Okay?
Carrie : Sure.
Big : Good night.
Carrie : Night. That was the first night we slept
together and didn't make love. By the middle of the
next week, it was three times
in
a row and I was beginning to worry.
Miranda : Three times? Try three months.
Carrie : No.
Miranda : Yes. Now would be a good time to wipe
that horrified look off your face.
Carrie : I'm sorry, sweetie. I'm sorry, I just-- I
didn't know. Where have I been?
Miranda : You've been having sex. I've been at
Blockbuster renting videos. It's tragic. I'm like
two rentals away from a free pound a Gummy Bears.
Carrie : Relax. You're just in a
dry
spell.
Miranda : I can't believe you said that. You're
all freaked out about three times. I'm talking three
months.
Carrie : That's different. Not doing it when
you're with someone means much more than not doing
it when you're not with someone.
Miranda : What are you worried about? I thought
you said everything felt really comfortable and
great.
Carrie : Normal is the halfway point between what
you want and what you can get. Even in the plow
position, I could count on Samantha for amazing
sexual clarity.
Siddhartha : Very good. Let's move on to downward
facing dog.
Samantha : With him, I could do it
every
hour on the hour.
Carrie : Do you think it means something if Big
and I are sleeping together but we're not sleeping
together?
Samantha : The truth?
Carrie : When have I ever wanted that? Yeah. Okay,
tell me.
Samantha : I think there's trouble. I mean sex is
a barometer for what's going on in the relationship.
Carrie : I wasn't going to tell you this, but... I
farted.
Samantha : Then move your mat away.
Carrie : Not now. I did it in front of Big.
Samantha : Huge mistake.
Carrie : You think? It wasn't a choice. I'm human.
It happened.
Samantha : No, honey, you're a woman, and men
don't like women to be human. We aren't supposed to
fart, douche, use tampons or have hair in places we
shouldn't. I mean, hell, a guy once broke up with me
because I missed a bikini
wax.
Carrie : I knew it. This is a watershed
relationship moment I'm never gonna be able to
erase.
Samantha : Sure you will. Just go over there and
fuck his brains out and he'll forget all about it.
Men aren't that complicated. They're kind of like
plants. |
