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Rachel : Well,
now, how come you guys have never played poker with us?
Phoebe : Yeah, what is that? Like, some kind of guy
thing? Like, some kind of sexist guy thing? Like it's
poker, so only guys can play?
Ross : No, women are welcome to play.
Phoebe : Oh, OK, so then what is it? Some kind of...
you know, like, like... some kind of, y'know, like...
uh, what is it?
Chandler : There just don't happen to be any women in
our games.
Joey : Yeah, we just don't happen to know any women
that know how to play poker.
Girls : Oh, yeah, right.
Monica : Oh, please, that is such a
lame
excuse!!
Rachel : Really.
Monica : I mean, that's a typical guy response.
Ross : Excuse me, do any of you know how to play?
Girls : No.
Rachel : But you could teach us.
Guys : No.
Chandler : OK, so now we draw cards.
Monica : So I wouldn't need any, right? Cause I have a
straight.
Rachel : Oh, good for you!
Phoebe : Congratulations!
Chandler : OK Phoebs, how many do you want?
Phoebe : OK, I just need two... the, um, ten of spades
and the six of clubs.
Ross : No, uh, Phoebs? You can't-you can't do...
Rachel : Oh wait, I have the ten of spades! Here!
Ross : No, no. Uh... no, see, uh, you-you can't do
that.
Rachel : Oh, no-no-no-no-no-no, that's OK, that's OK,
I don't need them. I'm going for fours.
Ross : Oh, you're...
Monica : Alright, here we go. We've got salmon
roulettes and assorted crudites.
Phoebe and Rachel : Ooooooo!
Joey : Whoa, whoa, whoa, Monica, what're you doin'?
This is a poker game. You can't serve food with more
than one syllable. It's gotta be like chips, or dip, or
pretz...
Chandler : OK, so at this point, the dealer...
Monica : Alright, you know, we got it, we got it.
Let's play for real.
High stakes ... big bucks...
Ross : Alright, now, you sure? Phoebe just threw away
two jacks because they didn't look happy...
Phoebe : But... I'm ready, so, just deal.
Chandler : OK, alright, last minute lesson, last
minute lesson. Joey... three... eight. Eight... three.
Alright babe.
Monica : Dammit, dammit, dammit!
Phoebe : Oh I see, so then, you were lying.
Joey : About what?
Phoebe : About how good your cards were.
Joey : Heh... I was bluffing.
Phoebe : A-ha! And... what is bluffing? Is it
not another word for lying?
Rachel : OK, sorry to break up this party, but I've
got resumes to fax before work tomorrow...
Guys : Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Chandler : Rach, Rach, we gotta settle.
Rachel : Settle what?
Chandler : The... Jamestown colony of Virginia. You
see, King George is giving us the land, so...
Ross : The game, Rachel, the game. You owe us money
for the game.
Rachel : Oh. Right.
Joey : You know what, you guys? It's their first time,
why don't we just forget about the money, alright?
Monica : Hell no, we'll pay!
Phoebe : OK, Monica? I had another answer all ready.
Monica : And you know what? We want a rematch.
Ross : Well that's fine with me. Could use the money.
Rachel : So basically, you get your ya-yas by taking
money from all of your friends.
Ross :...Yeah.
Chandler : Yes, and I get my ya-yas from Ikea. You
have to put them together yourself, but they cost a
little less.
Ross : Look, Rachel, this is poker. I play to win,
alright? In order for me to win, other people have to
lose. So if you're gonna play poker with me, don't
expect me to be a 'nice guy,' OK? Cause once those cards
are dealt...
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