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Mrs. Bing :: I am
famished. What do I want...
Chandler : Please God don't let it be Kung Pow Chicken .
Mrs. Bing :: Oh, you watched the show! What'd you
think?
Chandler : Well, I think you need to come out of your
shell
just a little.
Ross : What is this dive? Only you could've picked
this place.
Mrs. Bing :: Oooh, c'mon, shut up, it's fun. Gimme a
hug. Well, I think we're ready for some tequila.
Chandler : I know I am.
Mrs. Bing :: Who's doing shots?
Monica : Yeah.
Phoebe : I'm in.
Mrs. Bing :: There y'go. Ross?
Ross : Uh, I'm not really a shot drinking kinda guy.
Rachel : Hi! Sorry- sorry we're late, we, uh, kinda
just, y'know,
lost track of time.
Ross : ...But a man can change.
Ross : Anyone want me to appraise anything?
Rachel : Mrs. Bing :, I have to tell you, I've read
everything you've ever written. No, I mean it! I mean,
when I read Euphoria at Midnight , all I wanted
to do was become a writer.
Mrs. Bing :: Oh, please, honey, listen, if I can do it,
anybody can. You just start with half a dozen European
cities, throw in
thirty
euphemisms
for male genitalia, and bam! You have
got yourself a book.
Chandler : Myyy mother, ladies and gentlemen.
Mrs. Bing :: Yeah, any messages for room 226?
Mrs. Bing :: You okay, slugger?
Ross : Yeah, I'm fine, I'm fine.
Mrs. Bing :: What is with you tonight?
Ross : Nothing. Nothing nothing nothing.
Mrs. Bing :: Okay, thank you. It's the Italian
Hand-Licker, isn't it?
Ross : No. It's the one he's licking.
Mrs. Bing :: She's supposed to be with you.
Ross : You're good.
Mrs. Bing :: Oh, Ross, listen to me. I have sold a
hundred million copies of my books, and y'know why?
Ross : The girl on the cover with her nipples showing?
Mrs. Bing :: No. Because I know how to write men that
women fall in love with. Believe me, I cannot sell a
Paolo. People will not turn three hundred twenty-five
pages for a Paolo. C'mon, the guy's a secondary
character, just a, y'know, complication you eventually kill off .
Ross : When?
Mrs. Bing :: He's not a hero. You know who our hero is.
Ross : The guy on the cover with his nipples showing?
Mrs. Bing :: No, it's you!
Ross : Please.
Mrs. Bing :: No, really, c'mon. You're smart, you're
sexy...
Ross : Uh. Right.
Mrs. Bing :: Get out. You are gonna be fine, believe
me.
Ross : Uh-oh...
Joey : Uhhhh... I'll just pee in the street.
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